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Friday, October 8, 2010

One of the Boys

Jason just left for a fishing trip; his buddies picked him up and they are on their way to the Gulf to tuna fish.

Jason was telling me yesterday that both fishing buddies weren't even married last time they fished together and they are now both married and pregnant ... well, their wives are. I asked him how it made him feel and he said he was happy for them and wished them well.  Typical Jason. We didn't talk any more about it.

Well just now, when they picked him up, I congratulated them on the good news and there were thanks all around. Then his friend said, "And congratulations to you!" I hardly knew what he meant and it dawned on me (too slowly for my comfort) that Jason had told them! Which was fine with me, I've decided to be open about this pregnancy. Not that I took out an ad or anything, but I'm not in my dome of secrecy anymore. Being that Jason doesn't share much, I assumed he hadn't told these friends; and it took me way off guard because he's not particularly close to these guys. But who am I to know what constitutes "close" in manland.

But this is what killed me. After his friend congratulated us, Jason excitedly said, "Yeah. It's weird. last time we went fishing, only one of us was married and no one was pregnant, now we're all married and all pregnant! How far along are we now, babe?"

"4.5 weeks," I said.  "Very very very early."

Oh my god. My heart sank because he is excited, he's hoping, and he wants so badly to be a part of the tribe of fathers. He wanted to be able to chime in proudly with how far along we are. I want him to get it; I want to be able to give it to him. I need my body to perform.

8 comments:

bunny said...

Oh Jason! Wanting to make this happen for my husband has certainly been one of the really hard parts about this experience. It's touching that he's optimistic enough to tell people.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh, I hear you. This is so incredibly sweet and special, and it makes it seem all even more important for this baby to stick around!

But the reality is that if something did go wrong, these guys sound like they would be first in line to offer support. And the chances are overwhelming that things won't go wrong this time, in which case your husband got to treasure a special time of bonding with his friends, all of which are expecting babies. I think it was way worth the tell.

But I know what you mean-- when I was first pregnant, I died a little every time I saw signs of excitement in Eric's eyes. It was hard to imagine that being extinguished... hang in there.

-Lesley

Roccie said...

I adore your ticker. Set the goal small and achievable.

Take one day at a time. I know some days are easier than others, but this ticker is a great reminder.

Augusta said...

Oh that's such a ball of mixed feelings, I imagine. How awesome that he's excited and how scary for you. But it's out of your hands. You are doing everything you need to be doing.

onetokeep said...

I hear you, the unspoken pressure we put on ourselves to "perform" for our loved ones is the hardest. I have almost the exact situation as you....sticky vibes to you, I will be following your journey! xx

blue.bell.beat said...

Maybe your hubby spoke out a little bit earlier than you would have liked, but it's sweet and reassuring to know how excited he is. Don't put any pressure on yourself - just relax (he!), be good to yourself, and enjoy the moment. Support is great thing and something anyone who has had fertility issues - past/present - needs and doesn't get enough of.

B said...

hey. i was reading a while ago, then i commented, then you started reading my blog - then i got a bit exhausted and loads of posts got backed up in google reader, and i fell behind in reading you. so i ended up with 17(!) posts to catch up with.

but i've caught up now!

it's lovely that he was so excited that he's told already. my husband has told a couple of people but only with the proviso that 'it's too early to be excited'. it hurts that he has to protect himself like that, but then it would hurt if he was excited too. can't win, can we?

Kathleen said...

Hi Melanie! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I appreciate your support. And now I get to support you too! Hoping things are going along well with you.

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