Update

I met my new OBGYN this Tuesday! He passed the audition – he said all the right things and we are on the very same page regarding how to proceed with this last pregnancy and how we’d like to handle each step along the way. It is so comforting to feel that he will be able to anticipate what I need emotionally as well as physically throughout the anticipated fourth and last pregnancy. A friend (I will call her Prof for professor) who suffered from IF recommended him and he is unlike any doctor I have ever met.

One weird thing … when we talked about how inspirational Prof was and how it felt for him when he delivered her baby, tears welled up in his eyes. So that was kind of off-putting. . .

NAH! Just kidding – well mostly.

It was just something you don’t see often, like a male nurse, or Sarah Palin declining an opportunity to shout “You Betcha!” on national TV – rare enough that I noticed and had to decide whether I liked it or not. I decided I liked a Dr. who could tear up in front of me a whole lot better than one who couldn’t. So I guess he’s a keeper.

I called and left a message with Prof to thank her for the wonderful recommendation. But she hasn’t called me back. My feelings are on the verge of being hurt, but I just keep telling myself that she’s a busy Mom with a baby and classes to teach and art to make and that I haven’t been unjustly thrown under the bus by my ex husband’s new wife (her super good friend) or a vicious frenemy of mine (also a good friend of hers). I personally think she was trying to improve the quality of her friendships when she reached out to me. Harumph.

I’m just joking – well mostly. The socially paranoid part of my brain is fighting with the (much smaller and weaker) logical side of my brain which is trying to explain that we are all busy and we are all adults and no one is throwing anyone under any buses. Prof is my one and only live infertility friend; I was counting on her support more than I thought. Hope you all will step up to the plate ;)

-----------

I took pee test today (CD 19). Negative. But I tested on the earliest possible day and my boobs really do hurt in an unusual way. If I’m not pregnant, than this boob “ache” is new for me.

-----------

My mother in law arrived today. She is a lovely lady, gentle and kind. After reading the horror stories in blogland about invasive, inconsiderate MIL’s who look at you and see 2 dried up ovaries that can’t give her grandchildren, I thank my few lucky stars.

I ordered a digital voice recorder for her visit because I figure if it turns out that I can’t contribute to the line of future heirs, then I can document the family narrative. Except, it just now occurs to me that it becomes less important for me to document my husband’s side of the family if I do not have children. My dear friends, it seems, since I bought the recorder to interview my mother-in-law during her visit, that I have FALLEN IN HOPE AGAIN!